Oct 25, 2014

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What the Yuck?! Your Most Embarrassing Questions – Answered!

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Our weekend Book Pages series, shares pages from our favorite books.  Today’s book is authored by Dr. Roshini Raj, a friend and an excellent doctor.  Dr. Raj is the Health Magazine and Today Show contributor.  Her book is a compilation of numerous question that women are often too embarrassed to ask.  Below are three questions and answers.  Enjoy!

Q: Is it true that some women just smell fishier?  How do I know if I do?

A: A word about vaginal odor:  All women have it.  It’s a completely natural and not something to stress about.  In fact, most men consider that scent arousing.  That said, if you notice that you sell unusually fishy or your odor is particularly strong post sex or after washing your vagina with soap, you might have bacterial vaginosis or BV — an easily treatable infection caused by an imbalance of the normal vaginal bacteria.  You should see your gynecologist, who can test for it and, if you come up positive, prescribe an antibiotic that should clear it up.  One final note:  While BV isn’t a sexually transmitted disease (STD), vaginal odor can sometimes be a sign of one, so your gynecologist may want to rule out that, too. Page 65:

Q: Why do some men have premature ejaculation?

A: There are many psychological and biological factors that can play a role in premature ejaculation.  Is this a new relationship?  He might be overthinking how to please you and so worried about maintaining an erection that he finishes more quickly than he was anticipating.

Other possible causes for the rockets taking off too soon:  relationship problems (the troubles can affect his self-esteem); feeling rushed (like when you’re going for a quickie — just not that quick); hormonal imbalances; abnormal levels of the brain chemicals called neurotransmitters; and even a medical issue like an inflamed prostate.

Of course, sometimes finishing early just means that he finished early.  It happens to most guys every now and then.  Rest a second and go again.

If your guy is quick to finish, try not to make him feel ashamed about it; that will only make the situation worse.  But if it’s happening a lot, you may want to bring it up in a supportive way and encourage him to talk to his doctor.  There are treatments ranging from anesthetic creams to sex therapy that may just help him last longer.  page 230

Q:  Sometimes when I laugh or sneeze I leak pee — I thought that was something old ladies did!

A: Back away from the adult diapers — you are not there yet!  I know lots of women with this problem, and while it can be embarrassing, it’s not a sign you’re skipping right to your golden years.  What you most likely have it stress incontinence, which causes you to lose a little pee when you laugh, cough, sneeze, or do anything that puts pressures on your bladder.  Weakening in the muscles that support your bladder and urethra is usually to blame.  As a result, when the urges come, you might just lose a little control down there– or worse, a lot.

Limiting fluid intake — especially alcohol and caffeine, which tend to race through your system — will help.  Pee as soon as you wake up and right before bed.  And when you feel the urge to go, do so as soon as possible.  That’ll keep stress off those muscles and prevent stretching of your bladder walls.

Kegel exercises (yep, the same ones that make sex feel better) can help by strengthening the muscles.  While sitting in your chair, imagine you’re holding in urine.  Hold for 10 seconds and relax for 10 seconds; repeat 10 to 15 times, three times a day.  As you build up these muscles (over the course of several weeks) the leakage should let up.  (If it doesn’t stop in a month or so, visit your doctor.)  In the meantime, you can avoid an embarrassing leak by throwing on a panty liner before you go out.

You can purchase the book here.


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Angélica Pérez-Litwin

Angélica Pérez-Litwin

Dr. Perez-Litwin is the Founder & CEO of ELLA Leadership Institute, a multi-platform professional development organization designed to advance the careers and leadership of women. She's the creative force behind the LATINAS THINK BIG™ national tour, sponsored and live-streamed by Google.

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