You have been taught
that there is something wrong with you
and that you are imperfect,
but there isn’t
and you’re not.
Unless you were raised by wolves, the chances are extremely good that as you were growing up, you heard at least a few of the following:
Don’t do that…Stop that…Put that down…I told you not to do that…Why don’t you ever listen…Wipe that look off your face…I’ll give you something to cry about…Don’t touch that…You shouldn’t feel that way…You should have known better…Will you ever learn…You should be ashamed of yourself…Shame on you…I can’t believe you did that…Don’t ever let me see you do that again…See, that serves you right…I told you so…Are you ever going to get it…What were the last words out of my mouth…What were you thinking of…You ruin everything…You have no sense…You’re nuts…The nurses must have dropped you on your head…Just once, do something right…I’ve sacrificed everything for you and what thanks do I get…I had great hopes for you…If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…Give you an inch, you take a mile…Anybody would know that…Don’t talk back to me...You’ll do as you are told…You’re not funny…Who do you think you are...Why did you do it that way…You were born bad…You drive me crazy…You do that just to hurt me…I could skim you alive…What will the neighbors say…You do that to torture me…You’re so mean…I could beat the daylights out of you…It’s all your fault...You make me sick…You’re so mean…I could beat the dailylights out of you…It’s all your fault…You make me sick…You’re trying to kill me...Now what’s the matter with you, cry baby…Go to your room…You deserve it…Eat it because children are starving...Don’t stick your lip out…If you cry, I’ll slap you…Don’t you ever think about anyone else…Get out out of my sight...and on and on and on and on and on…
Somewhere along the line, you concluded that there was something wrong with you.
Of course you did!
What else could you conclude!?
If there were nothing wrong with you,
people wouldn’t treat you that way!
They wouldn’t say those things to you!
“Then why did they do that me?”
Because it was done to them.
Because we do
what we’ve been taught.
Society calls this
We call it
The process of socialization teaches us:
- to assume there is something wrong with us
- to look for the flaws in ourselves
- to judge the “flaws” when we find them
- to hate ourselves for being the way we are
- to punish ourselves until we change
We’ve been taught that this is what good people do.
Socialization does not teach us:
- to love ourselves for our goodness
- to appreciate ourselves for who we are
- to trust ourselves
- to have confidence in our abilities
- to look at our heart for gratitude
We’ve been taught that this is “self-centered.”
By the time “socialization” is complete,
most of us hold an
that our only hope of being good is to
punish ourselves when we are bad.
We believe beyond doubt that without
bad would win out over good.
This entire book
is based on the promise
that that is not true!
Pages 1 through 8 of There is nothing wrong with you, by Cheri Huber.
Book Pages is a Saturday series, where we share wise words from book on our book shelves. If you have a blog and want to start a Book Pages series, leave a comment below, and I’ll make sure to include a linky tool next week!