Oct 22, 2014

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On the Couch With Christine: How To Get Over Feeling Like A Failure

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On the couch with Christine

What do you do when you feel like a failure?

Hi Christine!
I’m so inspired by you and your work. The best part is that you are a fellow Latina spreading your diosa wisdom to the world!!  Anyway, I was wondering if I could get some advice on this internal pickle I am in. What do you do when you feel like a failure–so bad you kind of feel like giving up is the only option, because you are just filled with shame and disappointment?

 

-Conflicted Cindy

Failure is a feeling, not a fact! 

Hi Cindy!

I’m so glad that my work is resonating with you! Women like you are the reason that I do what I do.

Such an excellent and brave question. Do you know why this is so brave of you? I’ll tell you.

Usually, when people are feeling shameful and disappointed, they hide. And you my love, are not hiding–you are reaching out. Reaching out and putting yourself out there to explore why it is that you are “feeling like a failure” means that you are willing to heal, and your willingness to heal shows me that you are definitely not a failure. You are just experiencing a feeling of failure at this moment.

The key thing to remember here is: A feeling is a feeling, not a fact! 

Rain, after all, is only rain; it is not bad weather. So also, pain is only pain; unless we resist it, then it is torture. – I Ching

Don’t resist the pain. It is only pain. Feel it. Breathe into it. Just don’t buy into it!

Explore what it is that you feel you are failing at. I don’t know exactly what it is that you feel you are failing at, but whether you feel this way regarding your career, your relationships, or just in life in general, you can begin to take action towards remedying it.  When you begin to take action, you begin to feel empowered.

There is nothing wrong with feeling stuck or feeling like a failure. We all have moments of feeling that way. I have felt that way many times. The only difference is that I tell my fear, “thank you for sharing” and I keep on moving. So do the same–tell your fear “thanks for sharing” and keep moving towards creating the life you know you deserve. And if you still don’t believe that you deserve it fully, I am here to tell you that you do.

We need you; the world is waiting. Shine baby, shine!

Keep me posted with an update! I’ll be here cheering you on.

xo,

Christine

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Christine Gutierrez

Christine Gutierrez

Psychotherapist, Advice Columnist, Speaker, and Poet. Christine Gutierrez is the Founder of CosmicLife.com, an online hub that features psychologically savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live+virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. ”Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. Known for breaking stigmas; Christine is taking therapy to the next level, fusing ancient wisdom with modern psychology.

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