Aug 21, 2014

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Keeping Skeletons in Your Closet

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skeletons in closet

 

While many people were taking skeletons outdoors this Halloween and for el Dia de los Muertos , it is important to remember to keep some skeletons indoors. In a closet. Locked with a key. Never to be unlocked again!

Keep Some Skeletons Hidden

Trust and honesty are two important traits that every healthy romantic relationship should have, and if yours doesn’t, I suggest you think about how to change that. HOWEVER, does that mean your significant other needs to know every single thing about your life, past and present?  Most likely not.  I would never recommend keeping something like your medical history a secret, but some things I would advise you not to be so forthcoming about are past relationships and secrets about your friends, among others.

Skeleton #1: Past Relationships

There is nothing worse than telling your partner every single detail about your last relationship. Just stick to the basics about why you broke up and what being in that relationship taught you as a person. Share what you learned about your expectations from a partner or ways that you think you can better yourself individually Hopefully, the person that you are with wants to make you feel happier than you did in your last relationship. You do not want your partner to become insecure in the relationship you both have because he or she is constantly comparing and competing with your ex because you’ve shared every single detail imaginable.

Skeleton #2: Others’ Secrets

You also do not want to tell your partner secrets that your closest friends share with you.  I think we’ve all been in that situation where our best friend tells us something really juicy and we really want to tell someone. You may think that your partner is a safe outlet but I would argue against that. Some times sharing things about your friends can come back to hurt you later. You also have to keep in mind that you’re the one that has a special connection with your friend and mostly see them without harsh judgment. This does not apply to your partner.  Depending on the secret, your partner may see your friend differently and treat them as such and might have a problem with your friendship. Try not to fall into this sticky situation.

Keep Mystery Alive

There’s nothing wrong with having some mystery in a relationship. It’s actually healthy. What fun is it to be in a relationship when you know every single thing about the other person? Keep your partner curious as it only makes the relationship that much more interesting!

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Minerva Guerrero

Minerva Guerrero

Minerva Guerrero is a graduate of The City College of New York, with a BA in psychology and an MA in Mental Health Counseling. She works in an outpatient clinic in New York as a mental health counselor where she works with individuals, couples and families. She primarily enjoys working with women, helping empower them to be the best version of themselves. When not conducting therapy, you can catch her teaching at City College and freelance writing on a wide variety of topics that include relationship issues, emotional well-being, women's issues, and self-help topics.

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