Aug 02, 2015


5 Reasons We Resist Letting Go

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letting go

5 Reasons We Resist Letting Go

1)   We feel scared

Who wants to let go of a job, relationship, or home? Even if staying is painful, the idea of leaving and facing the unknown can seen even more terrifying. So we stay longer than we should, we suffer and sacrifice because life is hard and we have to endure. I know I am not the only one. We have been taught to believe that. That is why I constantly have to remind myself that I am on the success with ease and grace program, right now.

The paradox is that when we let go of attachment to what no longer serves us, then something even better has the space to come in. Why? Because the Universe abhors a vacuum. Before we can even miss the old, the new opportunity, house, or relationship swoops in and reminds us that we live in an infinite universe and that we are the source of our own happiness.

I had a boyfriend I loved so much. I cried and cried and never wanted to let him go. The very second I let him go physically, mentally, and emotionally, I had the most amazing man walk into my life proving to me the abundance of the universe that is always conspiring for our good. If it works for me, I know it will work for you too.

Repeat this Affirmation Out Loud: I Let Go of what no longer serves me. I trust that the Universe is conspiring for my good.

2)   We feel empty

In western culture we are socialized to become attached to our things. Our possessions. From the time we can talk, we learn to say, mine, yours, and believe that we own things. The truth is that everything on the physical plane is temporal and transitory. Things, people, and situations will come and go. But, what we do have that is real, infinite, and eternal is our faith, love, trust, and inner peace. We can improve these parts of ourselves by doing just that; focusing on you.

Speaking of attachment to possessions, I had a home that I loved so much. You may remember it was right on the beach in Venice, CA. I felt an ache at the pit of my stomach when I thought about leaving the daily beach sunsets. Due to safety issues it had to go. As soon as I made the decision to move on, I found an amazing condo twice the size with views of the Marina, right off the ocean.

The fact is none of these external factors will ever make us content. We have to decide that no matter what we let go of we can never lose what is really eternal: our faith, integrity, tenacity, intelligence, drive, desire for equality, and commitment to excellence. These are qualities that Dr. Ernest Chu calls (in his book by the same name) “Soul Currency.” These qualities we possess can never be taken away and are priceless. We are always wealthy and abundant. All of our other tangible items we can replace, get back, or learn to live without. In letting go we strengthen are ability to realize our power of co-creation.

Repeat this Affirmation Out Loud: I let go as a practice to strengthen my power of co-creation.

3)   We feel lonely

It is common to feel that we are the only ones that are going through pain, struggle, or life’s toughest challenges. The truth is that it is lonely at the top and the bottom.

We are taught to suck it up and put on that everything-is-okay mask. That smile that waxes success when inside we are secretly cringing. Guess what? You’re not alone.

How do I know? Because I was one of them. I suffered in silence and things just got worse and worse. So little by little I admitted my pain to my family, my friends, and eventually work associates. The more I surrendered my EGO’s desire to look good and fessed up to my anxiety, the more things started to shift. It is like the saying goes: we are only as sick as our secrets. So when we share and release that tension we become liberated.

Repeat this Affirmation Out Loud: I know that I am not alone. I am AT ONE with the divine love, peace and compassion that goes beyond human understanding.

4)   We feel angry

It is common to feel a whole range of emotions when it seems as though the world is falling apart. My mentor/spiritual teacher (you may have seen him in The Secret) Dr. Michael Beckwith says, “We have a breakdown to have a breakthrough to experience our next level of consciousness.” He says, “Don’t think of problems as something you need to solve but as opportunities to evolve in consciousness.”

The more we are angry, play the victim and/or blame others, we actually create resistance that keeps us stuck in the place we don’t want to be. The more we say “I hate my job,” “I don’t want to be alone,” or “I don’t enjoy this relationship,” the more we activate the wrong side of the law of attraction. Whatever we focus on expands. Whether or not that focus is negative or positive is up to you.

We have to be a compassionate observer to ensure our mind does not go to the negative side. We must focus on shifting from anger to gratitude from pity to possibility. It is when we do this that our life changes.

Repeat this Affirmation Out Loud: Today, I focus my attention on what I desire and I manifest more of that into my life. I am so grateful, thankful and appreciative for all the lessons I have learned along the way.

5)   We feel like were missing out

Many of my clients suffer from  FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). That’s the illusion that if we don’t say YES to every single opportunity that somehow we are going to lose out on it forever. So they (and I) have been guilty of over-committing, overdoing, and inevitably becoming overwhelmed.

If something is for our highest good, whether it be an opportunity, a mate, or a living situation, the universe will synchronistically conspire and align and allow us to have it.

It is when we are in want/lack/neediness that we will repel it. However, when we bask and gratitude and feel the resonance of already having it than it drops seemingly on our lap. It is the that promotes a state of grace.

How would you feel if you had your divine soul mate?

How would you feel if you had your ideal career?

How would you feel if you had your perfect bank account balance?

Write down the answers to these questions and FEEL this right NOW!

Take a breath and stop reading. Co-creation/manifesting is not an act of doing, going, and pushing. It is an act of focusing and embodying the feeling tone of having it already. This is Basic Law of Attraction 101. We all know it. Practicing is the tough part, especially when it comes to Letting Go. Tools in the form of spoken affirmations are so helpful to achieve this.

Repeat this Affirmation Out Loud: I let go of belief in scarcity. I trust in infinite supply and have faith that all is working out for my highest good.

I am sending you love and light knowing that as you practice these tools to LET Go your life will transform and you will have more joy, love, peace, and fulfillment.

If you would like support call me for a complimentary 15 minute Discovery Coaching session to see if working one-on-one or in my Power of Synergy Mastermind is right for you. Visit

To your success with ease and grace,

Deborah Deras

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Deborah Deras

Deborah Deras

Deborah Deras is a sought after inspirational speaker known for her charismatic style and high energy presentations that captivates audiences. She is sought after Hispanic Spokesperson for brands such as Zest Soap, Verizon Wireless and State of California. Some of her clients include, J.P. Morgan, Macy's, State Farm Insurance and British Petroleum. She is the author of Confessions of an Adrenaline Addict: How to achieve more with less effort. Her mission is to empower Latina Leaders to be successful without compromising their health, productivity and relationships. Her Webinar series: provides a new way of working and being in the world the success with ease and grace way.

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  1. Fantastic article! I went through a bad break-up experience many years ago, and that is when I started practicing the Law of Attraction, because of the The Secret. Things changed dramatically. Fast forward to today I am with a man who also believes in the power of the mind as well, and together we realize we have a great “power” when we put our thoughts in sync.

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